I’m feeling very sleep deprived this week. I haven’t been able to sleep since the weekend so I’m definitely feeling more grumpy and miserable than I normally do, which, believe me, is not a pleasant thing for those who are in my life 😆
It’s been a quiet week really so far. I’ve spent most of the week sat by the pool pondering about life. Topics have included work, where I want to live and other personal shit that I could never discuss on my blog as it would ruin my online persona! I can’t be having anyone thinking I give a shit about anything or anyone!
I’ve got so much shit spinning round in my head and I honestly don’t know what to do about it all. I’m so indecisive right now and that’s not me. I definitely don’t feel my normal self but truth be told I haven’t since my mum died. Her death has left a huge void in my life. I know everyone says that when they lose their mam but I see them getting on with their lives whereas I don’t feel that I can or will ever be able to do so. It’s not a good place to be and I have no idea how I’ll ever overcome my loss. I honestly don’t think I will. I guess it’s something you have to learn to accept. I think I do accept it, it’s just that when there’s a struggle, that support which I’d always counted on, is no longer there.
I’m lucky in that there’s a couple of people outside my family who try to motivate me when they see that my head is down. They fail miserably but they do their best, bless ’em 🤣
Life goes on for the rest of us so I guess we have to look at what positives we have left in our lives. When we lose a loved one, they wouldn’t want us to be sad. They wouldn’t want us to mope around. That’s what we’ve got to keep reminding ourselves.
But we can still miss them x